There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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