Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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