I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize