I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
