this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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