Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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