8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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