Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
