how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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