Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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