escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
