my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
