So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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