He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
