And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
