He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize