i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize