I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
