But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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