I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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