Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
