I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
