please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
