i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
