You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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