you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize