Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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