imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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