I think I am morally bankrupt
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
