ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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