so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
