I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dear god my vagina.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
