Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
