Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
