This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
