i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
