Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's shark week go big or go home
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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