But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize