About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
