I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
two words...techno handjob
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
