what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
