idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
