the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
