Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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