i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We don't watch enough power rangers
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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