I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
