Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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