I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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