Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
