she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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