ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
