hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize