you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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