well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My life is pants optional.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
