I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This house was built for laser tag.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
