If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
