Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
