PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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