im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
