oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
