Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
