Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
