Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He better not be in your backpack
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
