Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
