I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
