Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
